Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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