No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize