If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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