is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
