living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
