Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You smell like stripper and shame
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Idk if I want to put a bra on
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
