I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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