He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
