I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
