Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im six kinds of drunk right now
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
