ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
