How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
