Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize