last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
