I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
