Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
