the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
