I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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