My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
