just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
