it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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