Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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