So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my being single is dangerous.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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