i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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