She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Boobs are out for the taking
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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