either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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