you mean i was at the winter classic?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
