I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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