Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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