thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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