So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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