If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
