We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We need a shit load of segways right now
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
