Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
