Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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