I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
