3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
