peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I AM VODKA MAN
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
