Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
