giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
