Kiss
Puke
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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