We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
