my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And then he peed in my hair
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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