The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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