So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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