do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There r osticjed everywhere
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
