I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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