She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
