last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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