Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
